I was going through my archives the other day, and I came upon a couple of posts I had written about gay marriage. Judging by the angry comments they both recieved-you would have thought I was caught red-handed molesting puppies or something. When in reality, all I was voicing was my own personal discomfort with the idea.
Same is basically true with the repeal of DADT. I don’t personally believe that American society is as enlightened as some would give it credit for and I do not think the transition from the DADT era to the era of full, open homosexuality, will be as smooth as some people think. There are going to be some people who are going to get the stuffing beaten out of them. At least at first.
Nonetheless, it is probably time to repeal both prohibitions.
What has changed about my viewpoint in the last two years? Actually, very little. I am still not comfortable with the idea of gay marriage-and for the most part I am still of the opinion that the institituion of marriage as a whole-is a decaying institution of decreasing value. I am still of the mindset that marriage has moved, or has to move, past the nonsense of one person being the end all, and be all, of human emotional and sexual existence. Maybe once upon a time-marriage in its traditional form made sense. It protected the species in a whole bunch of ways. It still provides an environment for raising children, only the odds of it being a successful way to raise children are diminshing.
I’ll skip my disdain for the idea of monogamy-since that seemed to set off a lot of people for reasons that still elude me. Suffice it to say though, I have not changed my mind on that particular subject.
However, the difference between then and now is what I would call a resigned acceptance that both changes are going to happen. And if so-perhaps it is better to get it over with so we can stop hearing the whining. And move on to more important things.
With respect to DADT-it is important to note that the attitudes of the young people who are on active duty now, are far different on the subject of gays than they were when I was in their shoes. They are more accepting of the concept than we were-at least in the abstract. Whereas we tended to focus on the actual sex that was implied by the word “gay”-today’s generation focuses more on people. It was why we rose to our feet and applauded in 1993 at the DADT hearings in Norfolk, when Sen. Strom Thurmond looked over his glasses and asked a gay (former) A-6 BN, “If he had ever sought psychiatric help for his problem.”
That would not happen today and that is the difference.
Mind you, in retrospect, I think the DADT compromise was necessary in 1993. There was just too much change, coming too fast, to the military. It was bad enough that women were being allowed to enter combat units-but to then throw in this particular change was just too much to absorb or deal with. As it was, the Navy did not deal with the other change very well-and it still doesn’t. Witness the existence of the Diversity bullies.
But on the whole society is changing and will continue to change-although I do think that change is occuring slower than gay rights advocates wish to admit. When you have a significant minority of citizens frothing at the mouth over a liberal, black President-are they really ready to have Jim and George move in next door? Or have two guys kissing on the pier at the end of the cruise?
I’m not sure-but I think we will just have to find out.
The transition, when it occurs, will not be pretty. Gay partners will find themselves excluded pretty much from spousal support groups-all rhetoric to the contrary. The Knives Wives club can be pretty brutal at times.( Although those wives might dress better in the presence of someone who actually knows something about good clothing sense). And I do worry about how the demographics will be tracked-will there now be “GLBT” stamps on service records and their promotion statistics tracked as other minorities are? Will their be quotas set for the requisite numbers of gay CO’s and other such nonsense? Regrettably, I think there will.
But I am now firmly convinced that this train has left the station and is picking up steam. The courts are already tearing DADT at the seams-Congress had an opportunity to take the issue up, but they failed to. But Congress is kidding itself if they think the issue is going away or can be postponed. Even if the Republicans win control-they won’t be able to dodge it, much as they would like to.
So as I said-it is with a heavy sigh, and a sad, resigned acceptance-that I say, “Just get it over with.”
